(Read time: 5 Min.)
Coaches who specialize in personal transformation are skilled at teaching their clients skills that last a lifetime. Their clients learn how to create a fulfilling future based on new insights and valuable skills learned under the guidance of a transformational coach.
Transformational coaches are experts at meticulously peeling back the layers of an issue and guiding the client through a process of analysis and self-discovery that is powerful and memorable. Most importantly, clients can easily replicate elements of the coaching process to address everyday issues and life’s complexities.
Not every transformational coach will use the same process, but they all have several things in common. They masterfully apply a wide range of communication skills and coaching techniques, and they know how to instill the following in their clients:
- The value of learning life lessons from everyday successes and disappointments
- The discipline of maintaining a positive mindset
- The practice of reflection/introspection
- The importance of declaring and living their values
- A passion for lifelong learning and personal growth strategies
The common basis of these learnings is self-reflection, the ability to look inward and reflect on thoughts, behaviors, strengths, and challenges. It’s a positive exercise and an honest exploration in which clients may discover valuable strengths to emphasize moving forward, as well as issues and roadblocks that need to be addressed in order to clear the way.
Self-reflection is an intentional process initially facilitated by the coach. For example, when the client raises a disappointment or a success the coach may ask: “Tell me more. How did it happen? Why? What does the outcome tell you about yourself?” The coach’s objective is to encourage the client to explore why something did or did not work and identify lessons that could be learned from the experience.
Transformational coaches ask their clients questions designed to uncover feelings and insights below the surface. They are silent when they need to be and create a safe space, free of distractions, enabling the client to pause, think, and reflect. They may even suggest clients use a journal to write down their thoughts and insights from these exercises so they can reflect on their answers between sessions and practice elements of the process on their own.
Immersing clients in honest reflection and introspection has amazingly powerful benefits:
- Creates greater self-awareness and a better understanding of why clients are where they are in their lives right now. More importantly, it helps clients identify what actions they need to take in order to get where they want to be
- Aids in identifying and setting clear goals and desired results
- Encourages timely assessment of goals and allows for modification based on new developments and learnings
- Establishes priorities and identifies obstacles that could cause clients to lose sight of what is most important
- Helps clients get in touch with their emotions and identify those that could be holding them back
- Allows the client to identify opportunities and challenges and choose those they really need to work on
- Creates greater control over their life and the direction in which it\’s heading
When the coach practices a few simple techniques and employs transformational coaching skills, their clients will ease into the practice of self-reflection and develop it as a consistent habit. Over time, they will master the art and be able to practice it on an as-needed basis.
A great way to establish a habit of self-reflection is by asking clients questions about where they are in life. Asking questions is an immensely powerful technique because it fires up the brain (which loves to be challenged and stimulated) while searching for answers. The answers may not come immediately but they\’ll certainly come! Here are some examples of relevant questions to get you started.
- If you could turn back time and do one thing over today/ this week/ this month, what would it be and why?
- Is there a personal relationship you could improve upon?
- What are three things you are grateful for?
- When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone?
- What do you feel you have done really well today/ this week/ this month?
- What opportunities are available to you right now?
- If you could only focus on one area of self-improvement, what would it be?
- Who are the most important people in your life and how can you show them how much they mean to you?
Start with one question and follow up the client’s answer by asking another question that encourages the client to dig deeper. Why? How? For example:
Continue to ask questions until the client gets to the heart of the matter. This process has a two-fold benefit: First, walking a client through this process creates an opportunity for a transformational realization to surface, and second, it gives them a process of self-reflection they can use on their own.
Coach: Is there a personal relationship you could improve upon?
Client: Well, yes, there’s this one supervisor at work that drives me crazy. I can hardly stand to be in the same room with him.
Coach: Why?
Client: He acts like he knows everything and treats everyone as if they are stupid.
Coach: How do you react?
Client: Usually, I just ignore him but every so often I’ll challenge him, just to put him in his place.
Coach: Why?
Client: I can’t stand boastful people, especially when they put others down.
Coach: Why does that bother you so much?
Client: In my family, we were taught to be humble and to do what we can to elevate those around us, so it just sets me off when he belittles people to make himself look smarter.
Coach: And are you acting in concert with that value when you challenge him?
Making self-reflection a ritual for your client will increase their self-awareness as well as bring new insights and realizations to light. If practiced regularly, it will become a habit that serves them well for the rest of their life.
Thanks for reading, see you next week.
