In our previous article on step 1 of the goal-setting process, we discussed the deep exploration of emotions, experiences, and beliefs in preparation for setting inspiring goals. Once you and the client have completed this step, it is time to focus on creating goals that feel like gifts. Without the preceding deep exploration, the next step, vision creation, will be a superficial version of what the client wants, a litany of shoulds and oughts based on where the client is today rather than an inspirational plan for the life they imagine.
In the transformative journey of personal coaching, a client\’s aspirations should be shaped by their most vibrant visions of the future, not the confines of their current circumstances. It\’s all too common for individuals to tether their goals to their present situation, which can be laden with challenges, limitations, or past setbacks. But for true growth and fulfillment, it\’s paramount that coaches guide their clients to look beyond the immediate, and instead dream and plan from a place of possibility and passion.
A clear and exciting vision of the future acts as a magnet, drawing individuals forward with enthusiasm and purpose, while a focus on the constraints of the present can stifle ambition and restrain potential. Our role as the coach is to help clients navigate the now and illuminate the path to what can be, helping them shape a future driven by aspiration rather than adaptation.
Creating A Vision for the Future
Start with a dedicated session to help clients articulate and capture their vision for the future. Encourage clients to be as specific as they can and to think without constraints. Vision crafting is a pivotal aspect of coaching, allowing clients to create a vivid mental image of their desired future. This clarity becomes a motivator and a guidepost for subsequent coaching sessions.
To help clients envision the possibilities, try this 30-minute exercise. Adjust the pace of the exercise based on the client\’s comfort and engagement levels. Some clients may dive deeply into the visualization, while others may need more prompts or given more time. The coach\’s role is to facilitate and create a safe space for exploration.
- Set the Stage (3 minutes)
Environment: Ensure the room is quiet and free from distractions. Soft, calming music might be used in the background.
Mindset: Begin with a short relaxation technique such as deep breathing or a minute of mindfulness to center the client and clear the mind.
- Introduction and Objective (2 minutes)
Explain the purpose of the exercise: \”Today, we\’re going to journey forward in time to craft a clear vision of the future you desire. This is a space to dream freely, without constraints.\”
- Guided Visualization (10 minutes) Pause briefly after each instruction allowing the client to visualize what you suggest.
Grounding: \”Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Feel the weight of your body on the chair, your feet on the floor.”
Transition: \”Imagine yourself standing at the edge of a pathway, and as you walk, the scenery starts to change, indicating the passage of time.\”
Future Immersion: \”Now, find yourself 5 years into the future. Everything has unfolded as you\’ve hoped. Take a look around.\”
\”Where are you?\”
\”Who is with you?\”
\”What activities are you engaged in?\”
\”What emotions are you feeling?\”
\”Notice the details. The colors, the sounds, the atmosphere.\”
Deepening the Vision: Ask open-ended questions to get richer details.
\”What achievements are you most proud of?\”
\”How do others perceive you now?\”
\”What\’s different about your environment, your daily routines, or the people around you?\”
- Reflective Journaling (10 minutes)
Be sure the client has a journal or piece of paper. Prompt: \”Write down everything you saw, felt, and experienced in your vision. Let it flow without overthinking. Capture as much detail as possible.”
Your client’s written text of this visualization journey becomes a powerful testimony to the life they imagine and is a document that can be referred to throughout your coaching relationship.
- Sharing and Discussion (4 minutes)
Ask the client if they\’re comfortable sharing aspects of their vision. Listen actively, validating their vision, and asking probing questions to clarify or deepen certain aspects.
- Wrap-up and Next Steps (1 minute)
Affirm the importance of the exercise: \”This vision is a powerful tool. It\’s your compass, guiding you towards the future you desire.\”
Embracing this vividly painted vision of the future, clients will be propelled by passion and purpose, leaving the constraints of the present for a boundless horizon of possibilities.
Reframe Limiting Beliefs
Addressing and reframing limiting beliefs and negative self-talk is central to the transformative process in life coaching. These beliefs often act as barriers, preventing individuals from realizing their full potential and achieving their goals.
Dive deep into any limiting beliefs or negative self-talk that might anchor the client to their current circumstances. Help them reframe these beliefs and recognize that they have the power to change their narrative. The following are some suggestions on how you might do just that.
- Create a Safe Space: Ensure that the coaching environment is non-judgmental, supportive, and confidential. Clients need to feel safe to disclose their deepest fears and insecurities.
- Identify Limiting Beliefs: Begin by helping clients articulate any beliefs they hold that might be holding them back. Use open-ended questions such as,
\”What beliefs about yourself do you think might be hindering your progress?\”
\”Are there things you tell yourself repeatedly that might be limiting your progress?\”
Based on what you know about your client, limit the discussion to two or three limiting beliefs. You want to focus on the ones that are truly getting in the way of the life your client wants to live.
- Trace the Origin: Once a belief is identified, explore its roots. Understanding the origin can sometimes help in challenging its validity.
\”When do you first remember having this belief?\” or \”Can you recall a particular event or person that contributed to this belief?\”
- Challenge the Belief: Engage in a series of questions that challenge the veracity and logic of the belief. Delving into how this belief impacts their daily life, decisions, and actions can heighten their motivation to address and change it.
\”Is this belief based on facts or assumptions?\”
\”How has holding onto this belief benefited or limited you?\”
\”Are there instances where this belief has been proven wrong?\”
- Gather Evidence: Ask clients to recall instances that counter their limiting belief. For example, if they believe they\’re not good at public speaking, they might remember times they successfully spoke in front of groups.
- Reframe: Once the belief is challenged, work with the client to reframe it into a positive, empowering statement. For instance, \”I can\’t handle this\” can be reframed to \”I confidently face challenges and emerge stronger.\”
- Visualize: Use guided visualization to help clients imagine a version of themselves without the limiting belief. How would they act, think, or feel differently?
- Hold Accountable: Regularly check in on the client\’s progress in challenging and reframing their beliefs. Celebrate successes and navigate setbacks together.
Note: Address Emotional Resistance: Sometimes, there\’s an emotional reason for holding onto a belief. Dive deep into this, and if it seems beyond your expertise, consider referring the client to a therapist.
By illuminating and addressing limiting beliefs and negative self-talk, you equip your clients with a powerful tool for personal transformation. Changing one\’s narrative can significantly shift how one approaches life, unlocking avenues and opportunities previously considered unreachable.
Crafting Goals To Feel Like Gifts
As life coaches, we often come across clients who present goals that, on the surface, might appear straightforward or even mundane: \”Lose ten pounds,\” \”Read more books,\” or \”Get a new job.\” But beneath these seemingly simple aspirations lies a deeper, more profound yearning, often unarticulated, yet charged with emotion and meaning.
Consider the goal, \”Lose ten pounds.\” At face value, it\’s a quantifiable and specific objective. But is it motivational? Does it stir passion and drive? Does it feel like a gift? Not particularly. However, what if we reframe this goal within its broader context? This isn\’t merely about shedding weight; it\’s a chapter in a more encompassing narrative: \”Live a healthy life,\” \”Feel confident in my skin,\” \”Be an active parent and engage fully with my children.\” Suddenly, the motivation becomes palpable.
On the surface, many goals are just the tip of the iceberg with a massive structure of dreams, desires, and values submerged beneath. When a client expresses a desire to \”Read more books,\” perhaps they\’re yearning for personal growth, intellectual stimulation, or even a sense of accomplishment. \”Get a new job\” might encapsulate dreams of financial freedom, a better work-life balance, or the pursuit of a long-held passion.
Our task as coaches is to navigate these waters with sensitivity, guiding our clients to discover and articulate these broader visions. By doing so, we unlock a reservoir of motivation, turning seemingly pedestrian goals into powerful catalysts for change.
To truly inspire and empower our clients, we must help them bridge the gap between their immediate objectives and their overarching life vision. By understanding that every goal, no matter how simple it seems, is part of a grander narrative, we can inspire our clients to approach their aspirations with renewed energy, commitment, and passion.
The Coach’s Role as Wordsmith. Word choice is critical when creating life goals. The way goals are phrased can either energize and motivate an individual or conversely, drain and demotivate them. A coach plays an essential role in guiding clients to craft SMART* goals using empowering language. Here\’s how a coach can assist:
Positive Phrasing: Goals should be framed in positive terms, focusing on what the client wants to achieve or gain rather than what they want to avoid.
Disempowering: Stop eating junk food.
Empowering: Adhere to a nutritious and balanced diet to lose weight and feel more comfortable in my clothes.
Specificity: Vague goals can be disempowering because they don\’t provide a clear direction. Making goals specific gives a sense of purpose.
Disempowering: Be happier.
Empowering: Spend 20 minutes daily on mindfulness exercises to enhance my well-being.
Proactive: Encourage clients to phrase goals in an active voice, emphasizing their control and agency in the process.
Disempowering: Be recognized as a subject matter expert in my field
Empowering: Write four articles on current business management topics and submit them to industry-recognized publications.
Measurable Outcomes: Goals should have quantifiable outcomes or checkpoints, so progress is trackable, and achievements can be celebrated.
Disempowering: Get more exercise
Empowering: Make exercise a priority by jogging for 30 minutes, three times a week.
Ownership: Goals should resonate deeply with the individual\’s core values and desires. Avoid framing goals based on external pressures or perceived obligations.
Disempowering: Spend more time with my kids.
Empowering: Forge a deeper connection with my kids by spending weekly one-on-one time with each.
Realistic and Achievable: While ambition is good, goals set too high can be disheartening. Ensure that goals challenge the client but remain achievable with effort.
Disempowering: Write and publish a best-selling novel this year.
Empowering: Outline and write the first draft of my novel by year-end.
Present Tense: Encourage framing goals in the present tense to instill a sense of immediacy and commitment.
Disempowering: Run a marathon
Empowering: Purchase and complete the 24-week program: From Couch to Marathon
Avoid Negative Words: Words like \”don\’t,\” \”stop,\” or \”avoid\” can be disempowering. Focus on action-oriented, positive language.
Disempowering: Don\’t waste time on social media.
Empowering: Allocate specific times for social media and adhere to them.
Encourage Emotional Connection: A goal that evokes strong positive emotions will be more motivating. Ask clients how achieving the goal will make them feel and incorporate that feeling into the phrasing.
No emotional connection: Get rid of all the clutter and junk in the house.
Emotional connection: Organize and declutter my home so it feels like a peaceful retreat.
Through attentive listening, powerful questioning, and feedback, coaches can guide clients in word crafting their goals in ways that resonate, motivate, and empower. The manner in which we articulate our goals can significantly influence the journey toward achieving them.
Additional tips for coaching clients to create and achieve inspiring goals include the following:
- Revisit and refine goals as needed. Life is constantly changing and what seemed relevant or appropriately phrased at one point in time may need adjusting as circumstances change.
- Set incremental goals: Some desires expressed in the client’s vision may take many years to achieve. Break down the vision into actionable steps. Start with long-term goals, then medium-term, and finally, short-term tasks. This roadmap will give the client clarity on where to begin and what lies ahead.
- Visual Reminders: Encourage clients to create vision boards or other visual reminders of their future goals. This acts as a daily reminder of where they\’re headed.
- Maintain Perspective: Ensure that while the future vision is a guiding star, the client remains grounded in the present moment. It\’s essential to find joy in short-term accomplishments and learn lessons in the “now” even as they work towards the future.
- Self-compassion: Finally, emphasize the importance of self-compassion. Progress might be slow, and there may be detours. Teach clients to be kind to themselves and understand that every step, no matter how small, brings them closer to their vision.
The art of goal-setting can be a transformative force. By guiding clients to imagine a vibrant future, confront limiting beliefs, and articulate empowering goals, coaches play a pivotal role in facilitating self-discovery and growth. Embracing the present while reaching for the stars, clients find not only progress toward their long-term vision but also a deeper sense of gratitude and fulfillment in their daily lives. Through attentive guidance and self-compassion, we empower our clients to unlock the transformative power of their own aspirations, celebrating their progress and learning from each moment of the journey.
Thanks for reading.
Additional Resources:
THE goal-setting resource and workbook: Stop Shoulding On Yourself: 5 Steps to Create Goals That Feel Like Gifts
Your guide to coaching at a deeper level: The Passionate Coach, A Practical Guide To The Art Of Transformational Coaching.
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