Coaching clients come to you for a variety of reasons. Perhaps they have reached a crossroads in life and don’t know which way to turn, they may be unhappy in their career, or find themselves in a toxic relationship. Often, they fear they are not good enough to achieve the life they imagine or simply can’t imagine what an ideal life would look like.
Any of these feelings can prevent clients from taking bold action that can change their lives for the better. They may be afraid that they will never find their purpose or live a truly fulfilling life. To make matters worse, they are so afraid of failing they take no action at all. They just don’t know where to start. And that’s why they come to you!
The transformational coach believes:
- Their clients’ innate essence, who they really are, is hidden inside
- It is possible to rediscover that essence and live a happy, successful, and fulfilled life
- Connecting to who you really are makes all the difference
- All clients are capable of creating a better version of themselves once they know how
In this month’s blog we introduced the theory that everyone is born whole with the confidence and spirit needed to live a purposeful life. But life’s events tear away at that confidence causing them to forget or disconnect with who they really are. To focus on real change and commit to taking action, many seek the help of a coach.
The transformational coach creates the space for clients to reconnect with who they naturally are and recapture the confidence needed to respond to the fear, stress, and challenges that arise when they try to re-direct their life.
Your approach to help clients recapture the confidence they need to live the life they imagine can have several components. However, there is one component that you should consider inherent in every plan: The client needs to put themselves first!
By their nature, most who seek a life of focused purpose do not put themselves first. Those who live a life of purpose place a high priority on their own needs and concerns. That may sound contradictory, but when we put ourselves first, we make it a priority to take care of our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. If we can balance caring for ourselves with caring for others, we show up aligned with our purpose and better able to meet the needs of others. Caring for others is a natural human instinct, but it should never be carried out to the detriment of one’s well-being.
While living their life is ultimately every client’s responsibility, here are eight tips to give your clients the support they need to make themselves a priority!
- Live your vision – Before a client can justify putting themselves first, they need a clear vision of the life they want to lead. A vision keeps them focused and allows them to prioritize tasks and projects and make sound decisions. The really important people, tasks, and decisions will feel in alignment with their vision and the unimportant things will feel mundane and insignificant, if not bothersome. If your client is unclear about their vision, guide them through a visioning exercise. You can start by asking:
- Who do you want to be?
- What do you want to do?
- How do you want to feel?
- Create a plan with goals – Helping client set and reach goals is at the heart of the coach’s work and the most important way to ensure your client’s vision becomes a reality. Goals make the realization of the vision achievable and keep your client motivated and focused on what they want from life. Once goals are set, you coach and collaborate with your client at regular intervals to achieve the intended results and move the client closer to their vision.
- Learn new skills – As you and your client develop a vision and create goals to achieve it, you may find the client needs to acquire new skills to make their ideal life a reality. Take some time to identify areas of development and integrate steps into your client’s plan to bridge the gap between the present and desired skill level.
- Set personal boundaries – Setting personal boundaries is a skill your client needs to master when learning to put themselves first. This is especially true if they are “people-pleasers.” Setting personal boundaries is a vital skill and an essential component of putting yourself first. Clients need to practice sticking to their boundaries and not be pressured into doing something outside the limits they have set.
- Take care of yourself – Putting yourself first isn’t only about goal setting and getting ahead. It’s also about taking the time for self-care. If clients don’t make their health a priority, they will be unable to live their purpose or fulfill their life’s vision, especially if it is in the service of others. Be sure your client’s plan includes goals that make self-care a priority.
- Journal your thoughts – Humans have 60,000 or more thoughts per day. It’s no wonder clients suffer from overwhelm! Journaling can help them clear their heads and has the additional benefit of leading to better self-awareness which is foundational to making themselves a priority. Familiarize yourself with different ways of journaling so you can offer suggestions that best fit your unique client. Journaling can be done with paper and pen or using an app. Everyone is unique in the way they like to express themselves. Suggest they draw images, write words, or create things. Whatever works for your client is perfect.
- Practice gratitude – Suggest your clients take time each day to reflect on what is good and positive in their lives. Journaling is a perfect way to do this. Focusing on the beauty of life for just minutes every day is not only therapeutic, it also gives rise to alternate ways of looking at the world as well generating new possibilities.
It’s easy to focus on the things that bother us and neglect all we have to appreciate. Writing down and reflecting on all the things we are grateful for each day, reduces our stress and is a natural catalyst for finding more and more things to be grateful for in life.
- Discover your purpose – Having a clear purpose in life is essential to putting ourselves first. It is the most basic and yet most profound thing every person needs to live a fulfilling and satisfying life. Without a clear sense of purpose, our actions become random, and we end up living haphazardly.
Purpose makes it easier for us to say no to people and things that do not align with our goals and our highest good. Being aware of and living in alignment with our life’s purpose helps us identify what is important and when it is important. By consciously reaffirming our purpose in thought and action, we will be inspired to multiply our efforts in living a purposeful life.
Getting clients to agree on the importance of putting themselves first isn’t always easy, but the payoff for them is enormous. When your client is looking for the confidence to live their life according to who they are, use some or all of these practices to help them on their journey.
If you have used similar ideas in your own coaching practice, we would love to hear from you at info@thepassionatecoach.com, or feel free to post on our Facebook page: Facebook
