Last week’s article focused on living with intention and introduced the concepts of the real/ought self and the ideal self and how transformational coaches can help their clients identify and live their ideal self. Once the client has a plan and goals designed to help them do so, they need to find and maintain the motivation to stay the course. Staying motivated to create a life that supports intentional living is the focus of this week’s article.
To better understand where a client stands on the scale of intentional living, ask the following questions. The answers may come either from your observation or by directly asking the client. (You also might consider asking yourself the following questions to gauge your level of living with intention.)
Answer Yes, No, or Sometimes to each question:
- Do you know where you want to be in 5 years’ time?
- Do you have clear goals that you are consistently pursuing and achieving?
- Do you limit your technology consumption including social media, gaming, and surfing the net?
- Do you find it easy to confidently make choices and timely decisions?
- Do you often do things that make you happy?
- Do you practice regular self-reflection?
- Do you practice self-care?
- Do you have a structured lifestyle with regular bedtime hours and fixed mealtimes?
- Are you comfortable expressing your emotions and telling others exactly how you feel?
- Do you think before you speak?
- Do you make time for the important people in your life?
If clients answer \’yes\’ to every question, that’s wonderful! They are living with exceptionally strong intention. Not easily done these days given the number of gadgets and interruptions vying for our attention.
However, if they are like most people their intention could probably use a hefty boost. So, let\’s explore a few powerful strategies to help your clients live with intention every day for the rest of their lives – and in the process, find a deeper sense of happiness and fulfillment.
Plan with Intention To Live With intention. Last week’s article addressed intentional planning and goal setting but we thought you might benefit from the following five steps to creating a coaching plan that inspires intentional living, this according to Prof. R.E. Boyatzis, Case Western Reserve University.
- A vision of the Ideal Self
- Knowledge of The Real Self
- A plan to move closer to The Ideal Self
- Experimentation with new practices, feelings, and behaviors
- A support system that makes the journey possible
Once you have a coaching plan in place that encompasses these elements you have the foundation for coaching with intention. Once the plan is in place, ignite your client’s motivation to live more intentionally by taking them through the following steps.
Reflect on the \’why.\’ Guiding clients to clarify the why behind each goal is different than being specific about the desired outcome. Knowing the why means clearly understanding why the desired outcome is important. For example, will the client’s coaching plan and goals benefit them financially? Help advance their career? Create the strong personal relationship they desire? or bring them closer to living their ideal self?
Reflecting on the why enables the brain to grasp and digest each goal as something important. The brain then guides one’s actions and produces innovative solutions and creative ways to achieve desired outcomes. This is the power of intentional thinking.
When you take clients through the process of uncovering the why, you help stimulate their motivation. Are they stuck in their real self doing what is expected of them or does each goal support their journey towards the ideal self they desire?
Gather the resources to succeed. What does the client need to pursue their goals with intention? This may include researching specific data and statistics, finding additional expert advice, using a journal to reflect and record thoughts and reactions, creating a morning ritual, etc. A word of caution here: don’t let the client overload themselves with research or drown in minute detail. Help them get clear on the most important steps they need to take and keep them on task.
Manage fears. Fear of failure is real, as is fear of success. With success come changes large and small. Trying something new results in uncertainty, which can induce additional anxiety. So, pay close attention and be sensitive to your client’s fear level.
Factor potential risks and setbacks into your coaching by watching for client overload before it becomes a problem. Understand your client’s tolerance for risk and their level of comfort in stepping outside their comfort zone and help them stay within their boundaries, especially in the beginning. Our risk tolerance changes over time and the more successes we have the more we are inclined to broaden our boundaries. When clients know you have their back, they are better able to plan with confidence and courage and quickly avoid obstacles and minimize negative outcomes if they do occur.
Stay on top of priorities. Intentional living means first things first. A client cannot work on all their goals at once. Help them develop a process for prioritizing and encourage them to set aside time to focus on the important-but-not-urgent aspects of their life. Failure to do so will result in important tasks getting pushed aside by the urgent.
Make sure they identify priorities for the day, week, or month and review them together in your coaching sessions. Remember, priorities can change due to unexpected situations. Then help them to “score” their progress towards their priorities. Did they achieve 10%, 50% or 100% of a goal. This scoring practice not only creates accountability but helps the client make the right decisions as to what is important and what is not. Sometimes during this process your client will experience a breakthrough or ah-ha moments that cause them to reflect more deeply on their goals. If this is the case, help them reorganize their priorities and make some tweaks to their original plan if needed.
Encourage delegation. Delegating can be tricky because we often prefer to do things ourselves rather than risk delegating to others who might do a less-than-adequate job. However, delegating can eliminate a ton of distractions and wasted time.
A recent client of Mary’s had a difficult time letting go and trusting others to do a good job, preventing the client from moving forward. This behavior is not uncommon. Through reflective coaching, Mary helped the client peel back the layers of resistance. Taking baby steps, she helped set them on a path to get things done with the help of others. They are now more focused on priorities and able to live with more intention.
When you help your clients plan with intention and provide them with the tools and tips they need to maintain their motivation, you lay the groundwork for successfully living with intention. It’s hard to go wrong when clients are in touch with their “why,” arm themselves with everything they need, and stay on top of their priorities. Start small by having clients plan a day or a week at a time and encourage them to notice how everything flows smoothly and comes together according to plan.
Think about the clients you are currently coaching. How do you think they could benefit from living their lives with more intention?
Thanks for reading, see you next week.
Additional Resources
- Steven Covey’s 4 Quadrants If you are not already familiar with his work, this is the perfect place to start when helping your client prioritize their intentional living practice.
- Become a certified Best Year Yet Coach and learn how to create a plan and process for personal transformation. You AND your clients will see powerful results from day one.
