In last week’s article we talked about the importance of self-awareness for both the coach and client. When one reaches a new level of self-awareness through internal reflection, it’s very common to want to make changes in your life. This week’s article is about navigating change, both little changes and big changes.
Change can become necessary in many aspects of our lives, from learning a new computer program to managing a career change or totally reinventing ourselves. It is likely a majority of people would say they do not enjoy change. Change is not easy. Humans are creatures of habit and if given a choice, we would prefer to avoid change and maintain our current comfortable routines. Operating in familiar ways and environments results in feelings of security making it easier to make the decisions we need to. Change puts all of that at risk.
Despite the fact that most people don’t like change, there are ways to make it easier to accept. The following are three tools coaches can use to help their clients welcome change into their lives, even when entering uncharted territory.
- Determine Pros and Cons. Once your client knows they need to make changes in their lives, the following simple exercise can make the change easier to handle.
Instruct your client to take a sheet of paper, and on one side write “Pros,” and on the other write, “Cons.” On the respective side of the paper have them write the pros and the cons of the change they need to make so they can see what the benefits and drawbacks might be.
Don’t be surprised if you or client find that the very thing holding you or them back is the fear of change.
Once the client sees the pros and cons under your coaching, they will realize whether it will benefit them to make the change or not. It also highlights the consequences of not implementing the change. This simple exercise is a way to get your clients to warm up to the thought that change might be a good idea!
- Incorporate Change Gradually. Once the client agrees to implement the change, as their coach and accountability partner, help them create a plan or goal that will gradually make the change a reality.
Break down the larger goal into bite size pieces and schedule regular accountability sessions with your client to create the space for your client to gradually move towards their goals with confidence and clarity. During these sessions you can expect coaching opportunities in the form of client issues and/or roadblocks to appear. Coaching through these issues provides you with an opportunity to use your transformational coaching skills such as empathy, questioning, reflection, and feedback.
Clients will appreciate your support as they pinpoint obstacles, uncover hidden feelings regarding the change, and adjust their perspective based on new information they uncover. As the client realizes small successes and overcomes roadblocks, they will be better equipped to validate or modify the change they thought they wanted in their life.
- Action and Attitude Another way to help make change easier for your client is to help them align their attitude with the actions they take. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can\’t– you\’re right.”
Transformational coaches are skilled in helping their clients create the right mindset to achieve goals. They use process to guide their clients in creating positive paradigms and/or affirmations to help them over the rough spots.
Words are powerful and when you repeat the same words over time, they continue to resonate through your mind and move you toward that future. Be sure your client’s self-talk points to an exciting future.
As human beings, we strive to maximize our potential and improve ourselves. Helping your clients make strides toward a better version of themselves is one of the most rewarding aspects of being a coach.
When your clients want to transform themselves into a better version of who they are, someone who has the capacity to achieve their dreams, they must stay committed to the process. Using the three steps above, you can help your clients uncover the real meaning of the change they want to see, celebrate their success as they gradually achieve their goal, and move forward with a powerful mindset that keeps them moving in the right direction –even when you are not around.
Pressing The Reset Button
At times your clients will be faced with change so profound that to them it will seem as if they are pressing the reset button on their life. Some of the most common reasons for profound change include:
- Experiencing a major life disruption
- Feeling empty or unfulfilled
- Wanting more out of life
- A significant opportunity surfaces
A major life disruption may include a divorce, a significant health scare, or losing a job. Yes, these changes can initially feel devastating, but they are also opportunities for people to start over and move forward in a new direction.
Feeling empty or unfulfilled or wanting more out of life can be the impetus some need to reexamine their goals and purpose. Realizing that material things do not guarantee happiness, and wanting better spiritual, mental, and physical health are also good reasons to start over.
Sometimes life provides opportunities for a new start. Going away to college and a job offer in another state are examples of having an opportunity to restart one’s life.
No matter the reason, your clients can always push the reset button and start over.
Change can be scary
In the TV series Star Trek, the crew is tasked to “Boldly go where no one has ever gone before.” Starting over in life can be frightening, but everyone has the power to learn, grow, and overcome that fear. Fear of the unknown is an ancient human trait and so is overcoming that fear to explore and learn about the world around us. Help your clients acknowledge their fears and encourage them to work through them.
Even clients who seem to be sailing along just fine may be secretly harboring the fear of failure. Here’s where a different perspective can be helpful. Successful entrepreneurs look at each failure as a lesson. The more you fail, the more you learn, and the better you will do the next time. Pushing the reset button isn’t a one-time thing. Create an environment for your client that combines accountability with a flexible, gradual, and supportive plan for change. They may have to “start over” many times but each time, with your coaching, they can learn from their experience.
Identify and Remove Roadblocks
Success depends on how well your client can tackle obstacles and overcome challenges. Once your client has a new vision for their life, they need to be realistic about the obstacles they might face. Understanding what challenges and obstacles lie ahead and having a plan to overcome them helps lessen the fear of starting over.
Obstacles come in two forms, external and internal. External obstacles may include a client’s failure to get the promotion they expected or buying a house that needs more work than they thought. Internal obstacles are how the client reacts to challenges. Self-esteem, resilience, and good problem-solving skills are necessary to overcome doubt and misfortune. Planning for obstacles helps your client find the best way to overcome them.
A research study of high performing athletes and business leaders found that successful people view obstacles with confidence and joy. They see obstacles as challenges to overcome, and each time they succeed, their confidence and self-esteem grew. For them, facing challenges sparks joy and excitement rather than fear.
Change and transform. Two words than can be used interchangeably. Change can result in personal transformation and personal transformation certainly requires an openness and willingness to change. As a transformational coach, it is important to have a good grasp on the concept of change and how to prepare for and guide your clients through the process of changing their lives for the better.
Thanks for reading. See you next week.
Additional Resources:
- Harvard Business Review Article, Ten Reasons People Resist Change by Rosabeth Ross Kanter
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